Writing Assignment 5 - Revision of Writing Assignment 4

Although venturing out into the unknown can bring excitement and emotional and intellectual growth, sometimes this growth is accompanied by anguish and frustration. Sometimes in order to learn a lesson, one must experience the unpleasant consequences associated with the corresponding lesson. I did not fully understand the necessity of carrying my keys around until I was caught without them at 1 a.m. with nobody around to let me in. I didn’t realize how much I appreciate the comfort of a routine and the familiarity of lovely Roma until I journeyed to Florence in the scenic but frigid land of Tuscany. And until I left Seattle for Rome, I had a bitter loathing of most of the things that had to do with home.

Being locked out of a place and then allowed access again made me appreciate having a place to sleep and access to a heat and my belongings. With most of the group gone in Venice for the weekend, Carisa and I had the apartment to all to ourselves, a fairly ideal situation in my opinion. After consuming an entire batch of brownies between the two of us, we decided to go out for a while. Returning to our apartment, we realized that neither of us brought keys… Normally this wouldn’t be a huge issue, but since it was a long weekend, EVERYONE was gone. So we spent the rest of the night on our stairs, wishing our my cozy beds, dreaming of a hot shower, trying to decide what to do. Finally at 6 a.m., we worked up the courage and humility to call Julie and ask for help. She was more than generous, allowing us to sleep on her couch and cooking us delicious crepes. Eventually we were able to get ahold of our landlord who graciously unlocked our door for us. Such a simple action had a profound effect on my attitude, my demeanor, and my personal accountability for carrying my own keys. Going without my necessary accommodations for a night made me appreciate them immensely.

Leaving the comfortable routine in Rome while we were in Florence had this same profound affect on me. Rome had begun to feel like home in a sense, and not in the positive way. The bustling city somehow felt mundane and uninteresting. After adjusting to the routine of our schedule and surroundings, I frequented the same grocery stores and gelato shops as I had subconsciously decided that I had adequately explored the city and that I was a veteran of my neighborhood. Seeing Florence for the first time was a flashback to when we first arrived in Rome, experiencing new surroundings brought the accompanying energy to explore, wander, and observe. This abbreviated trip was a reminder that I am here as a traveler, that I have five weeks left to experience the true essence of the city.

Though I would love to stay in Rome forever, eventually I will have to leave behind this fairy-tale quarter of college and integrate back into my life and routine back at home in Seattle. I hate to think about this now, but as we are on the topic of leaving and returning, unfortunately this idea of eventually returning to Seattle is an obvious one to discuss. I am not looking forward to having to walk 25 minutes to get to class in the morning, to taking classes that have 300 students and are curved to an average grade of 2.6, to working 16 hours a week, to driving in Seattle traffic, to dealing with Seattle weather, to living in a house with 100 hormonal females. If I had the choice, I wouldn’t leave this beautiful urban city with historic ruins scattered throughout and a fascinating culture, I wouldn’t leave the intimate and supportive academic environment. But that is not an option.

On that note, how will I make my transition back to Seattle a smooth one? How will I incorporate the lessons and skills that I have learned here in Rome into my lifestyle back in Seattle? How will have this journey changed me as a person? Adjusting to life in Rome was an enormous shift for me personally, I was not healthy fall quarter, I was unhappy in my living situation, and I was struggling in my classes. I was almost under more pressure than I could handle. The transition from a state of poor functioning to a state where I was thriving was a drastic but welcomed. I am literally a different person than I was three months ago. Though many of the issues that caused my distress have been dealt with and I will no longer face some of the stressors, I still fear my return. I fear that I will regress into the person that I was fall quarter, and that terrifies me.

I have learned multiple lessons while in Rome that would have been helpful for me in the previous months. Cohabiting and studying with the same 14 people has provided unique social opportunities, but has also caused predictable social issues. Florence was particularly interesting, people were separated from the familiar and constrained by travel schedules, and seemed rather grouchy. But being with these people in such close quarters has for such a long period of time has allowed me to form a special bond with them. I have become more understanding, gained the ability to see situations from perspectives other than my own. I realize that I am so quick to judge, so quick to assume that my way of dealing with things is the only right one. I have come to the understanding that people behave the way that they do for a specific reason, they too have a story, a background, a reason (not always an excuse) for their behavior and attitude. I have changed, I can see this now, and it make me a more satisfied person because I can see a reason behind the actions of others.

I am apprehensive to see how spring quarter will go and where I will end up next year. This quarter has changed me. It is impossible to predict whether or not I will be satisfied in my living situation in the future, which (if any) nursing programs I will be admitted to, who I will be friends with, what life will be like when I get back. Honestly, I am terrified of the future and I always have been. I have no reason to be, in general life has treated me well. I am excited to see my family and friends, to return to the familiarity of the Pacific Northwest. But having left my known world in Seattle in a state of dissatisfaction, I am rather nervous to return.